RETRO REVIEW 004 - Scorn - Gyral

They say there are faces that could launch a thousand ships. Well in the case of Scorn's Gyral, this is one of those albums that launched about 100 sub-genres, all as technically proficient as they are abstract. What is essentially sort of..well dub music or illbient or "abstract" (which is a nice genre tag I found on discogs.com for this) or maybe some weird slowed down type of drum & bass or perhaps dark ambient or even industrial hip hop?

If Scorn (a side project of Napalm Death members) always does one thing right its how palpable their abstract timbres are. Organized into crunchy grooves, Gyral is a perplexing record of not very dissonant sound collages. Its pretty damn hard to figure out how they are making this music all the way back in 1995. Is he playing live instruments? Is it all sequenced? There is a lot of subtle, slowed down juggling and distinct cross fading tricks to these instrumentals. Gyral is home to some really bad ass bass and drum tones. Get ready for that /low/ low bass and lots of effects.

Probably more for fans of Autechre than Napalm Death.

RETRO REVIEW 003 - The Rippingtons - Best of the Rippingtons

With all the swagger of a coked out Huey Lewis blowing through the doors of a production music studio in the mid-'80s and screaming "LET'S DO THIS" at a frightened receptionist, Garden of Babylon bursts to life with the kind of opening salvo any knowing montage aficionado would admire. This is peak montage music. This the kind of jam your parents did montages to. 

How many kids learned to judo kick to this song? No one can say for certain, but one can surmise it was quite a few. I did five as I wrote this sentence. Some music is baby-making music, which the Rippingtons traded in as well, but this track? This is '80s action montage-making music.

Tourist in Paradise? What a fucking track. Just closing my eyes I can see Don Johnson dancing down a boardwalk absolutely destroying an order of fish tacos and snapping Polaroids to the amazement of bewildered onlookers.

Affair in San Miguel shamelessly rips off the intro to The Way It Is, but who cares? This is montage music, motherfucker. Anything goes, so strap yourself in and enjoy the dumbbell raises, bucko.

Snowbound? Sounds like a euphemism for "I just did a bunch of coke while listening to Pat Metheny's most commercially viable tunes and then ran screaming to all my bandmates that we need to get to the studio right this minute and lay down a hot ass jam."

Principles of Desire is skeezy as hell—it's clear montage music wasn't the only thing on Russ Freeman's mind when he went into the studio. Nay, we have a regular Pickup Artist on our hands here, plying his trade on the airwaves of the Weather Channel, seducing all those unfortunate enough to wander into a dentist's office reception area in the late '80s and '90s.

There are moments on this album that seemingly answer the age-old question: what would it sound like if Penguin Cafe Orchestra made production music? It's about what you would expect.

She Likes To Watch wants so badly to be a Sade song, and it does a pretty good job of it, in a Sade-via-Weather Channel sort of way.

Overall, this band is exactly as good and exactly as corny as one would expect a group of talented musicians that think the Rippingtons is a passable band name would be. Excellent tracks abound, but the Boomer generation is strong with this one.

7.3442838201/10

MUSIC REVIEW 007 - SzK. - Something New

SzK. (pseudonym of composer/multi-instrumentalist Szabolcs Kiss)'s Something New is an impressive collection of prog-rock, jazz rock, and sophistipop tracks. What sets this record apart, aside from his smooth singing voice, is SzK.'s exceptional keyboard technique. This album has some outright catchy tunes specifically "Like You," a summery complexion of synth pop with an out... jazz saxophone solo! "Moving Walkway" is another fantastic experimental pop track with vocoded vocals, a beautiful chord-filled bassline (with synth bass too), and awe inspiring arpeggios!

His keyboard playing is REALLY something to write home about! His style brings to mind artists ranging from Rick Wakeman era Yes' all the way to Tangerine Dream, all while incorporating elements of soft rock and a certain Prince like confidence! There were definitely moments where I sat up and wondered why this sort of music couldn't be on the radio. My favorite song on the record was definitely "Goodbye". I listened to this song repeatedly because I couldn't get over the remarkably catchy refrain (with its bristling guitar, rapid heartbeat bassline, and beautiful synth arpeggios)!

Here is another artist I could directly point at say "SzK. is getting it right!" Definitely worth checking out if you like some smooth complexities!

Available NOW on Spotify and I think some other sites!!

VIRTUAL FUN 001

          

 As I dive into making my own experimental games and original music, here's some of my favorite soundtracks from the golden daze of Nintendo and Sega.

This one sounds like Chemical Brothers and is totally ready to DJ

Here's another one with fantastic groovy percussion, blending industrial and 'world' sounds:

 

This jam just blows my mind everytime it hits:

 

Sounds like Alice Coltrane got stuck in the computer:

I played this game to the point where the soundtrack got so etched in my brain I used to listen to it in my imagination waiting for the bus, all the midi detailed perfectly preserved by my once smooth brain.

  

Haunted by this soundtrack to a machine ruined planet, in a good way:

RON JARZOMBEK: Abstract Composition Videos

How to compose music with a color coded spreadsheet!!

RETRO REVIEW 002 - Larry Wish - "World of Pictures" & "Spring Awakens a Ning Nong"

I absolutely adore these two albums! I remember having them on tape about a decade ago when they first came out. Before the Minnesota prog musician had his band "The Guys" (as in illustrious live band Larry Wish & the Guys) he was among my favorite bedroom musicians, programming and playing a more chamber pop version of his signature prog sound. Instead of the bombast of live drums, there is carefully delivered time signatures in pastiche driven drum machine patterns. Get ready for a LOT of parts! These albums are littered with brief yet clever instrumental interludes when not flowing with concise yet usually ludicrously weird lyrics. His vocals on "Abel and Cain/Stepdad" and "Quadrology: Sin Once Again" (definitely my favorite song by Larry in both the solo and live band version) are just awesome.

The main reason I've signed on board to so many Larry Wish records over the course of time is that Larry is a man that defines himself in his bizarre & theatrical take on rhythmic and harmonic structuring, eschewing what have become conventions in the progressive & art rock world. You can expect not to know what to expect from a Larry Wish album and these two records definitely take that idea very far without the structuralism of his later orchestrations. Is this a transition or a refrain or both? 

World of Pictures contains a beautiful homage to science fiction author Philip K. Dick titled "Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said". "Krinket Pleasure 1" has Larry's baritone croaking "a hole is a hole/a mouth is a mouth/an eye for a pair of eyes that fit/a hole is a hole/a mouth is a mouth/an eye for a pair of jeans" over hammering piano and the groove of hand percussion. World of Pictures precipice is definitely the Quadrology suite towards the end of the record that goes a variety of places, painting a picture of a static home life in perhaps another galaxy. "Now to make a nice dinner.." says Larry in his most sinister voice! The sonic experimentations Larry takes opposite his progressive counterpoint is impressive to say the least!

Spring Awakens a Ning Nong is a brighter album with many more delicate ornamentation, a softer (almost pastel) sound palette, and a different brand of Wish's focused compositional style. "Marc Hammill Chapman" is a catchy progressive pop tune with savage brooding tom toms, country western keyboards, and Larry's voice tremoloed throughout! There are some really endearing melodic abstractions on this album. One of this albums cherries is Larry's cover of Fausts' "It's A Rainy Day, Sunshine Girl"! "King & Prince" deliver a beautiful finale with streaming synthesizer arpeggios in counterpoint with Larry Wish's voice.

These albums will sound great to you ((perhaps)) if you already like progressive rock but might be quite SHOCKING at first if you're unfamiliar with odd, linear time signatures, strange lyrical subject matter, and progressive melodic & composition styles (from a decade ago)!!


GET "WORLD OF PICTURES" HERE!!

&

GET "SPRING AWAKENS A NING NONG" HERE!!

Watts, Duncan J., and Steven H. Strogatz. “Collective dynamics of ‘small-world’networks.” Nature 393.6684 (1998): 440-442.

MUSIC REVIEW 006 Max Zuckerman - The Corner Office

This is some mind-blowingly smooth shit! Like most of the stars in the Galtta Media universe (Adrian Knight, Alice Cohen, Dave Lackner, Billy G. Robinson, Nick Stevens, Blue Jazz TV)) Max Zuckerman, the Blue Jazz TV guitarist, is trying to raise the jazz-rock & sophistipop bar past many more visual predecessors and contemporaries. The album opens with chord changes that would make Walter Becker blush and a powerful vocal zeal. Royal Scam era Steely Dan is obviously the first place I'd go as far as comparisons but really it has dense sophistipop elements evocative of The Blue Nile, Talk Talk, or Japan! The choruses anthemic, the guitar solos masterful with distinct tones; there is brilliant songs on this record. This record is blessed with a shit load of jazz hits! Zuckerman's distinct style fringes upon Steely Dan's Aja as well with groovy boogie counterpoint and thrilling dynamics.

One thing that stands out on most Galtta releases are the unmistakable, pristine production quality and the saxophone & flute solos of label head Dave Lackner (from the delicious Billy 'n" Dave) but this record brings a rhythmic and instrumental daring perhaps not yet seen on the crunchy label! Zuckerman has exceptionally fascinating synth tones, particularly on "Airplane Girl". The bass tone and performances is definitely among the albums highlights! I find Max Zuckerman's voice to be really appealing and his melodies to be unpredictable & fresh! He is also a well seasoned jazz soloist with very creative ideas for his leads!

Essentially, this smooth groove will take a few more listens (Wakai Tsubame, the opening track was my favorite ((so nice I was compelled to listen twice)). I have to ask myself, has Max Zuckerman ever inhabited that corner office or is it all just jazz? Anywho, and hey, this was a spectacular record so pick this up on tapeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Am I right??

GET IT ON TAPE FROM THE GALTTA MEDIA BANDCAMP!

MUSIC REVIEW 005 Laci Violett - "self titled"

Only so often in a time and place does something occur truly twice and Laci Violett may just be the SECOND COMING of hair metal!!! Laci's catchy melodies and ironclad grooves combined with their truly brilliant tune-smithing brings a fresh take on hair metal (maybe the freshest yet), even more so than many of both their heavier and smoother predecessors.

At first glimpse, Lizzy Lace singing is like a laid back Overkill, an arrogant cooing that morphs into primeval-Ozzy Osbourne style scream! While Eddie Bane's exotic-modal shred solos and rhythmic chugs leave little more to be desired from a hair metal guitarist! Songs like "I Don't Go to School", "Snakebite", and "Ring the Bell" tell the controversial story of two bay area hair metal luminaries who upon chance meeting became renegades of the California music scene.

S.E.X. Life definitely proved to have my favorite guitar solo, both beautiful and extensive. Lizzy's low end tirelessly keeps up the punch to some spectacular heavy drum beats (also primeval). The production has the complexity of a Def Leppard album but with the subtly of 80s ZZ Top. The songs bring a level of unpredictability in the chord structures, which might at first seem unfamiliar in a genre commonly steeped in blues and power pop but gives Laci a purple hair metal world of its own.

Overall, this is really a timely and spectacular rock 'n' roll album in a classic, decadent rock fashion. Some one got it right and it was Laci Violett.

The complexity of this song is that in the chorus the singer claims to not go to school but in all the verses he's in school somehow!

CDs AVAILABLE AT LACIVIOLETT.COM
LISTEN TO LACI VIOLETT AT BANDCAMP!!

RETRO REVIEW 001 - T - MURDER T WROTE

This album might be a lost classic, with rapper T and his P.O.W. (Product of Waste)) production team (who also have a hardcore-metal alter ego fronted by T) putting some of the densest, honest rhymes to the hardest smooth-grooves you can find in post-boom bap. Released a decade ago, you could hardly get around Providence in the 2010s without seeing a dripping red POW tag somewhere in your neighborhood. T is a SCARY dude. He paints a picture of a man on a mission with dense values, struggling with a life plagued with violence, poverty, and addiction. He makes sincere accusations against a plutocratic power he has no control over with a conviction that its not in his head. This album always stood out to me because T's specific detailed rhymes about political and social problems that in a way that it can be shocking. The beats have some really great bass loops and the drum tones are always fresh.





STAY STRONG IN 2020, GUYS! BUY THIS ALBUM!!!

VIRTUAL 001: xoxotech world 1

Here's a sample of what's to come, new virtual spaces for art and music, using videogame tools for making art fun.

Joe will be hosting group online sessions starting this Tuesday at 3pm Central time on Zoom group chat.
rsvp with him 612-250-0000 or ... joe at askjoeberns.com

What's it like to eat fifteen pancakes?

MUSIC REVIEW 004 Danny Henry - Danifest Destiny

This album is the sort of thing that gets COMPLETELY lost on people. It definitely did in 2019. Based on listening to the contents of this record, I thought they would be throwing this guy parades in the streets by now!  In all honestly, Danny is a friend of mine. I met him playing open mic nights. When I first met heard him, I thought he was genuinely awful (he enthusiastically and without a drop of irony played a Backstreet Boys song and an original that wasn't much different).

Then one night, we discovered we we're hard line Beach Boys fans! We've been pals ever since. This record has a remarkable backstory wherein Danny journeyed in his car from Connecticut all the way to Los Angeles, California to eventually work with producer and multi-instrumentalists Fernando Perdomo (a real pip). Danny Henry's catch phrase is Danny Henry is real. Which is something I genuinely came to believe.

I'm going to let this record mostly speak for itself but that at times the sound of Danny Henry's voice has been a real comfort to me and has deeply moved me with its honesty and ability to transport the listener into a world of Danny's own. My favorite songs were Dearest Thing to Me, Listen to the City, & Cereal Man. If you want to hear what a hard working pop genius sounds like, give this record a listen. Definitely worth a listen if you like the Beach Boys!!



The Swoop is legitimately something I find VERY funny! Its basically a 50s pastiche style song where Danny tries to reintroduce white people to dry humping the air while dancing.

PLEASE LISTEN // BUY // <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

MUSIC REVIEW 003 - Karen Meat - You're An Ugly Person

Karen Meat is Iowa's (sp?) answer to music itself! A pal of mine saw Karen Meat live (in the mid-west obviously) and immediately got in touch saying "YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!" Karen Meat is definitively a very unique project combining the bizarre, cooing voice of Karen Meat and the fantastic, original production and guitar playing of Dana Telsrow! The songs here are stifling; with lyrics about deranged aspects of mental illness AND love AND everyday life with linear counterpoint worthy of Frank Zappa and chord changes, story songs, & stylistic shifts worthy of Ween. The instrumentation on this album is very technical and dense while also very smooth. At the end of the day, this is a really fantastic & fresh pop album that definitely stands far above the rest of the new wave of sophistipop acts but what stands out most is Meat's unforgettable voice and lyrics. I pretty much love every song on this record and sing them to myself..


"Jealousyyyyy makes you an ugly person! It's destroying meeeeeee! You are an ugly person!!"
-----------------Karen Meat

BUY THIS ALBUM!!!!!

RANDOS 001

This is an editorial where we attempt to sell the reader on someone or something rando, with as few words as possible.



This is a bad, bad dude!! 

MUSIC REVIEW 002: Claude Fontaine - S/T

New Genre Alert: Rainy Day Ska Bubblegum

The moods on this record are the ones I'm trying to marinate my brain in before I consume its pink flesh in my nightly vampire feeding.

Listening to this record I get sent on a little imaginary cruise through memories, feeling oddly sedated and satisfied keeping the whole album on loop.

 I listened to it on repeat recently on a red-eye flight back from Los Angeles, just as the city was being shut down by the COVID-13 virus, perfect antidote to the surrealistic state of anxiety.

Medical grade face mask and purple latex gloves looked cool with my shades and neon green trenchcoat, in a Willy Wonka Hazmat sort of way.

I really love this album, it captures the full burn cycle of love and leaves me on the upswing.

<3 DJ Double Enya

Here's a favorite from the album:
   

MUSIC REVIEW 001 :: Tool - Fear Inoculum

Since seeing Tool live with a dear friend in November, I've listened to all of or nearly the entirety of this album at least once daily. This album is truly rhythmically decadent to the highest degree; more or less comprised of 6 songs of ten minutes or so and a few interludes (including the not to be missed "Chocolate Chip Trip".) Exceptional polyrhythmic arrangements by all three instrumentalists are graced by a much more subtle Maynard James Keenan and song structures so "trippy" that he hardly says a word. In the 80 odd minutes all I can remember Keenan saying is "WARRIOR // STRUGGLING // TO REMAIN // CONSEQUENTIAL" and "Wake up! Wake up now CHILD! Wake UP! Wake Up Nowwwwwww Child".

Consequentially, the album is about progressive rock drums, where Danney Carey proves his sonic bombast and phrasing skills with two double bass drums and a satellite high hat centered in his kit,
as seen in this awesome video released recently by Vic Firth. Fear Inoculum seems to be the right album at the right time, even landing them a headlining spot at Bonnaroo (which is rescheduled until September). The riffs are less specific then "Lateralus" and less funky then "10,000 Days" but they give way to the fact that the songs were apparently written as drum solos initially and the riffs were layered on top and orchestrated and re-orchestrated.

Here is a video released by TOP prog analysts! I am not kidding whatsoever! This album is a thoughtful remark on modern reality; where there is no time for lyrics, only time for drums and counterpointed riffs. Available wherever music is found!!